C.R.T.A.G. Blog

11 Step Program for those thinking of having kids

Clinton — Thu, 17 Mar 2011 23:56:00 +0000

Lesson 1

1. Go to the grocery store.
2. Arrange to have your salary paid directly to their head office.
3. Go home.
4. Pick up the paper.
5. Read it for the last time.

Lesson 2

Before you finally go ahead and have children, find a couple who already are parents and berate them about their…
1. Methods of discipline.
2. Lack of patience.
3. Appallingly low tolerance levels.
4. Allowing their children to run wild.
5. Suggest ways in which they might improve their child’s breastfeeding, sleep habits, toilet training, table manners, and overall behavior.
Enjoy it because it will be the last time in your life you will have all the answers.

Lesson 3

A really good way to discover how the nights might feel…
1. Get home from work and immediately begin walking around the living room from 5PM to 10PM carrying a wet bag weighing approximately 8-12 pounds, with a radio turned to static (or some other obnoxious sound) playing loudly. (Eat cold food with one hand for dinner)
2. At 10PM, put the bag gently down, set the alarm for midnight, and go to sleep.
3. Get up at 12 and walk around the living room again, with the bag, until 1AM.
4. Set the alarm for 3AM.
5. As you can’t get back to sleep, get up at 2AM and make a drink and watch an infomercial.
6. Go to bed at 2:45AM.
7. Get up at 3AM when the alarm goes off.
8. Sing songs quietly in the dark until 4AM.
9. Get up. Make breakfast. Get ready for work and go to work (work hard and be productive)

Repeat steps 1-9 each night. Keep this up for 3-5 years. Look cheerful and together.

Lesson 4

Can you stand the mess children make? T o find out…
1. Smear peanut butter onto the sofa and jam onto the curtains.
2. Hide a piece of raw chicken behind the stereo and leave it there all summer.
3. Stick your fingers in the flower bed.
4. Then rub them on the clean walls.
5. Take your favorite book, photo album, etc. Wreck it.
6. Spill milk on your new pillows. Cover the stains with crayons. How does that look?

Lesson 5

Dressing small children is not as easy as it seems.
1. Buy an octopus and a small bag made out of loose mesh.
2. Attempt to put the octopus into the bag so that none of the arms hang out.

Time allowed for this – all morning.

Lesson 6

Forget the BMW and buy a mini-van. And don’t think that you can leave it out in the driveway spotless and shining. Family cars don’t look like that.
1. Buy a chocolate ice cream cone and put it in the glove compartment.
Leave it there.
2. Get a dime. Stick it in the CD player.
3. Take a family size package of chocolate cookies. Mash them into the back seat. Sprinkle cheerios all over the floor, then smash them with your foot.
4. Run a garden rake along both sides of the car.

Lesson 7

Go to the local grocery store. Take with you the closest thing you can find to a pre-school child. (A full-grown goat is an excellent choice). If you intend to have more than one child, then definitely take more than one goat. Buy your week’s groceries without letting the goats out of your sight. Pay for everything the goat eats or destroys. Until you can easily accomplish this, do not even contemplate having children.

Lesson 8

1. Hollow out a melon.
2. Make a small hole in the side.
3. Suspend it from the ceiling and swing it from side to side.
4. Now get a bowl of soggy Cheerios and attempt to spoon them into the swaying melon by pretending to be an airplane.
5. Continue until half the Cheerios are gone.
6. Tip half into your lap. The other half, just throw up in the air.

You are now ready to feed a nine- month-old baby.

Lesson 9

Learn the names of every character from Sesame Street , Barney, Disney, the Teletubbies, and Pokemon. Watch nothing else on TV but PBS, the Disney channel or Noggin for at least five years. (I know, you’re thinking What’s ‘Noggin’?) Exactly the point.

Lesson 10

Make a recording of Fran Drescher saying ‘mommy’ repeatedly. (Important: no more than a four second delay between each ‘mommy’; occasional crescendo to the level of a supersonic jet is required). Play this tape in your car everywhere you go for the next four years. You are now ready to take a long trip with a toddler.

Lesson 11

Start talking to an adult of your choice. Have someone else continually tug on your skirt hem, shirt- sleeve, or elbow while playing the ‘mommy’ tape made from Lesson 10 above. You are now ready to have a conversation with an adult while there is a child in the room.

This is all very tongue in cheek; anyone who is parent will say ‘it’s all worth it!’ Share it with your friends, both those who do and don’t have kids. I guarantee they’ll get a chuckle out of it. Remember, a sense of humor is one of the most important things you’ll need when you become a parent!?.

Movember

Clinton — Tue, 09 Nov 2010 18:53:22 +0000

I have recently decided to take on a new challenge for the betterment of society. We all see the pink ribbons during October that are meant to raise awareness for cancers affecting women. Well, in that same tradition there is a quickly rising symbol meant to raise awareness of cancers affecting men and that is the mustache! More specifically the month of November has been renamed to Movember in hopes to raise awareness by challenging men (and women) to grow (or paint/take/draw) a mustache throughout the month.

Because gravity is a constant threat I now have the ability to rapidly grow facial hair and felt it was my duty to use such skills for this good cause.

Taken from movember.com:

**************************************************

About Movember

The Mo, slang for moustache, and November come together each year for Movember.

Movember challenges men to change their appearance and the face of men’s health by growing a moustache. The rules are simple, start Movember 1st clean-shaven and then grow a moustache for the entire month. The moustache becomes the ribbon for men’s health, the means by which awareness and funds are raised for cancers that affect men. Much like the commitment to run or walk for charity, the men of Movember commit to growing a moustache for 30 days.

The idea for Movember was sparked in 2003 over a few beers in Melbourne, Australia. The plan was simple – to bring the moustache back as a bit of a joke and do something for men’s health. No money was raised in 2003, but the guys behind the Mo realized the potential a moustache had in generating conversations about men’s health. Inspired by the women around them and all they had done for breast cancer, the Mo Bros set themselves on a course to create a global men’s health movement.

In 2004 the campaign evolved and focused on raising awareness and funds for the number one cancer affecting men – prostate cancer. 432 Mo Bros joined the movement that year, raising $55,000 for the Prostate Cancer Foundation of Australia – representing the single largest donation they had ever received.

The Movember moustache has continued to grow year after year, expanding to the US, UK, Canada, New Zealand, Ireland, Spain, South Africa, the Netherlands and Finland.

In 2009, global participation of Mo Bros and Mo Sistas climbed to 255,755, with over one million donors raising $42 Million US equivalent dollars for Movember’s global beneficiary partners.

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I do have to admit I did not start clean shaven on the 1^st but instead decided to stop shaving after Oct. 28 so I cheated a bit. As of today this is my status:

Movember!

Windows 7 Taskbar Items Pinner

Clinton — Wed, 20 Oct 2010 02:16:21 +0000

Ran across this cool application that allows you to pin Files, Folders & Webpages To Your Windows 7 Taskbar. Normally you can only pin EXE items to your taskbar (i.e. Internet Explorer, Calculator, MS Office Word, etc) but this program expands this to other useful items that you may regularly access.

For me the immediate catch was my ‘My Picture’ folder. Yea, it’s easy enough to hit Start -> My Picture but now with it on my Taskbar I can use the Windows shortcut Win+number (1-9) to quickly open it (I placed ‘My Pictures’ as the first pinned item on my Taskbar so Win+1 is the shortcut I use) .

Enough from me though, you can read more about it from the developers themselves at:

http://www.door2windows.com/windows-7-taskbar-items-pinner-pin-files-folders-to-your-windows-7-taskbar/

Taylor lost somethin’

Clinton — Thu, 24 Jun 2010 23:10:21 +0000

Last night we experienced another first; the first lost tooth by Taylor! Its been wiggling for the last few weeks but when it finally got annoyed Taylor when trying to eat her spaghetti she went and pulled it out.

Taylor lost her first tooth

Another Family Transition

Clinton — Wed, 14 Apr 2010 05:22:11 +0000

As of today we have officially made into our next family transition into the realm of organized sports. Today was Taylor’s first day of T-Ball with an upcoming full schedule. One practice and two games per week – for T-Ball!

We weren’t sure how Taylor would react but she immediately made friends and had a great time. Hopefully she will continue and not get too bored with it.

Quickly show your Desktop in Windows 7

Clinton — Tue, 13 Apr 2010 22:16:11 +0000

In Windows XP and Vista there was a nice Quick Launch bar which had by default a ‘Show Desktop’ button to quickly allow you to minimize all your open windows and show just your desktop. With Windows 7 the Quick Launch bar was removed in favor of other features (namely the ability to ‘Pin to Taskbar’) which meant that the useful ‘Show Desktop’ button is now gone.

However, all is not lost since in fact that ability still exist though only in a more discrete method. On the Taskbar, on the far right side (if your taskbar is at the default bottom of your screen) is a bar which is actually a button which in turn is the “Show Desktop” button. Click this button to minimize all windows and show your just desktop.

This feature may justify the purchase of CS5

Clinton — Thu, 01 Apr 2010 18:06:45 +0000

Check out this video demo on Adobe Content-Aware Fill which will be part of Adobe’s Creative Suites 5

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NH0aEp1oDOI&feature=player_embedded

Here is an article in regards to the math behind it – not as dry as you would expect – and how the significance is much more widespread than to photography. Of course, now the term “seeing is believing” is obsolete!

http://www.wired.com/magazine/2010/02/ff_algorithm/all/1

It’s finally here

Clinton — Tue, 16 Mar 2010 04:36:08 +0000

Ceton has officially started pre-orders for the new InfiniTV 4 tuner card for the Windows Media Center. This means we can finally stream HD and encrypted channels through the HTPC and not require the huge Comcast set-top-box just to hold the little card to view digital TV (just the bigger box for the HTPC )

The first multi-tuner PC card for watching digital cable TV on the PC

Support for premium and encrypted cable channels like HBO and Showtime

Enables Media Center PCs to play or record up to four live channels of HDTV at once

Stream live HD channels or recordings to multiple HDTVs throughout the home

System Requirements:

InfiniTV 4 is a PCIe low-profile PC card and ships with both low-profile and full-height backplates.
The recommended minimum system requirements are: Microsoft Windows 7 Home Premium, Windows 7 Professional, Windows 7 Enterprise, or Windows 7 Ultimate
2GHz or faster CPU minimum, either 32 bit (x86) or 64 bit (x64) – 2.7GHz or faster dual-core CPU is recommended
2GB of RAM minimum – 3GB or more is recommended
1 PCIe slot, which can be either an x1, x4, x8, or x16 type slot
HDCP compliant on-board graphics or graphics card
HDMI out, or DVI out with separate audio out; Multi-Stream CableCARD (M-Card) – available from your local cable provider
Digital cable subscription from a U.S. cable provider

Per the description on http://www.cetoncorp.com/

"The new Ceton InfiniTV 4 turns your Media Center PC into the world’s
best entertainment platform for digital cable TV, including support
for premium cable channels. Watch and/or record up to four live
channels of HDTV at once and stream live HD channels or recordings
to multiple HDTVs throughout the home, all from a single cable
connection."

Some additional information taken from http://thegreenbutton.com

Pricing and Availability

Q. What is the official name of the card?
A. The official name is the Ceton InfiniTV 4

Q. How can I join the beta program?
A. The Ceton MOCUR’s beta program is closed at this time

Q. How much does the Ceton InfiniTV 4 cost?
A. The Ceton InfiniTV 4 will retail for $399

Q. Where can I buy the InfiniTV 4?
A. Retailers are just beginning to take preorders. The only site known to currently be accepting preorders is Zones.com. It is expected that Amazon, CannonPC and others will be accepting orders soon.

Q. When is the InfiniTV 4 expected to ship?
A. The expected shipping date is May 31, 2010.

Provider Compatibility

Q. Will this work with (my cable provider)?
A. The Ceton InfiniTV will work with any cable provider which provides CableCARDs and will pair them in consumer-owned devices. This means any cable provider in the US including Time Warner, Comcast, Charter, FiOS and others.

Q. Will this work with UVerse?
A. No. UVerse is an IPTV solution and does not use CableCARD.

Q. Will this work with Satellite providers like DirecTV or Dish Network?
A. No. It will not work with satellite providers.

Q. Will this work in Canada? Other countries?
A. Generally no. If your cable provider uses CableCARD and is willing to activate it in your own device, there is no reason it wouldn’t work, however there is no legal requirement for them to do so (outside of the US).

Q. Does the Ceton InfiniTV support Switched Digital Video (SDV)?
A. The Ceton InfiniTV supports SDV through the use of a Tuning Adapter. Scientific Atlanta/Cisco headends require one Tuning Adapter for every 2 channels (2 for the quad-tuner card). Motorola headends require only 1 Tuning Adapter.

Q. What kind of CableCARD do I need?
A. The Ceton InfiniTV requires a M-card (Multistream card). S-cards are not capable of decrypting more than one channel at a time and are not supported.

Features

Q. How many channels can I watch/record at once?
A. The first Ceton InfiniTV tuner to be released will be a four-tuner model capable of recording 4 digital channels at once. Ceton has indicated they have designs to support 2 and 6 simultaneous channels, but has not outlined their release plans for them.

Q. Does the Ceton InfiniTV tune analog channels?
A. No. The Ceton InfiniTV is a digital-only tuner. Most cable providers simulcast analog channels in digital form, so for most customers, this is not an issue. If your provider does not, traditional analog tuners can be used in conjunction with the Ceton InfiniTV.

Support and Requirements

Q. Does the Ceton InfiniTV work in Windows Vista?
A. The Ceton InfiniTV is only supported in Windows 7.

Q. Does the Ceton InfiniTV work on Mac or Linux?
A. OSX and Linux have not undergone the necessary CableLabs certification to support CableCARD devices, such as the Ceton MOCUR.

Q. Does the Ceton InfiniTV work with PVR software other than Windows Media Center?
A. No other PVR software has undergone the certifications necessary to support CableCARD devices. Some other software (SageTV) may support using Windows Media Center to schedule recordings, however these recordings will still be tied to the PC they were recorded on unless they are marked “Copy Freely”.

Q. Can I install more than one Ceton InfiniTV in the same PC?
A. Windows Media Center limits you to 4 tuners of the same type without the Advanced Entertainment Pack 2.0 (AEP 2.0) installed, so more than one InfiniTV 4 tuner will not be supported by Windows Media Center. In addition to the limt of 4 CableCARD tuners, you can have tuners of other types (up to a limit of 4 each), such as ATSC, NTSC, ClearQAM, etc.

Q. Where can I get the Advanced Entertainment Pack 2.0?
A. The AEP 2.0 is not available separately. It is only available with the purchase of a PC from select OEMs.

Physical and Environmental

Q. Does the Ceton InfiniTV 4 have a fan?
A. The Ceton InfiniTV 4 does not have a fan. Prototype versions did have a fan, however the shipping product will not have a fan.

Q. What interface does the Ceton InfiniTV 4 use?
A. The Ceton InfiniTV 4 is a low-profile, PCIe x1 card. It will fit in larger (x4, x8, x16) slots, however there is no benefit. There are no plans for a PCI model.

Q. What are the physical dimensions of the Ceton InfiniTV 4?
A. The Ceton InfiniTV 4′s dimensions are 7.85″ (L) x 2.535″ (H) x 0.68″ (W). << card should now be shorter due to removal of fan. Awaiting updated dimensions from Ceton.

Networking

Q. Can I share the Ceton InfiniTV 4 over the network?
A. The InfiniTV 4 shows up as a network card on your PC and can be bridged to a network, just like any other NIC. While this functionality is not officially supported, in general, it should work.

Q. Can I share the Ceton InfiniTV 4 between multiple PCs over the network, similar to how I share my HDHomeRun now?
A. No. CableLabs requires that the entire OCUR device negotiate DRM pairing with only one PC at a time. This limitation will apply to all MOCURs and is not a Ceton-specific limitation. You can have multiple InfiniTV cards in a single machine and share them all out over a network to different machines, but each card can only pair to a single PC.

Monkeys

Clinton — Tue, 16 Mar 2010 04:12:24 +0000

Our boys have officially hit the monkey stage. It has become virtually impossible to keep their feet on the ground as they track down every piece of furniture and outdoor toy to climb. They like to haul around stools, their dump truck, pillows, and everything else they can lift or drag in order gain any heighth advantage. The couches are popular obstacles to climb and jump around on. So it the kitchen table which explains why the chairs are now stored in the guest room when not in use. However, with the weak winter we are already getting to play outdors which means the boys get to play in the back yard or the playground when we get the opportunity to walk to the park. With Daylight savings time hitting us last weekend we hope to do that more often.

Taylor continues to amaze us as usual. Shes been enjoying her lessons in math and is continually getting better with numbers. She has even decided that kindergarten won’t be that bad. In addition, we’ve been slowly increasing her interest in sports and specifically T-Ball. She is enrolled in T-Ball now and is scheduled to start anyday now. She’s been practicing hard in the backyard and is building up her “skillz”.

See

Clinton — Sun, 07 Mar 2010 04:44:57 +0000

See Gramps, I told you I was posting stuff